I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
