people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
