she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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