I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
