...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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