Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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