i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize