But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
