Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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