Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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