saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
