I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
