I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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