He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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