Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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