sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
