Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
