My balls are so social today.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
