my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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