Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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