I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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