do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
