Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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