Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He passed out mid-signature
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
