Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
