why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
