We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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