Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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