i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
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But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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