Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
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It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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