TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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