What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
