Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
