Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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