It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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