i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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