Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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