he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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