he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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