sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
