They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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