I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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