Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize