So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
