apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
please don't ironically join a cult
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