Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
