You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
