I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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