I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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