You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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