Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
