My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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