You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
