GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize