i just wanna soil my oats bro
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
