Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
