if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she smelled like a LAN party
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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